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PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 4:30 pm 
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OK... I am typing this with a Mish on my lap... so please forgive any spelling mistakes. Ah... she has now departed, so I can type with a bit more freedom!

OK... firstly Dru:

I REALLY liked this plot. The method of getting information was great, and I really liked the sudden jarrings of continuity, it really helped show how Dru's internal processes were completely off. His confusion was manifested really well. I especially like the ending. Very graphic, without actually spelling it out. Kudos!

Secondly for the Red:

I liked the tie-ins with her previous issues (the trooper glove was a nice touch). I liked the setting too, I like the idea of being kept in an area which isn't particularly made for interrogation. It gives a much rougher and ready feel to it all. More realistic (the lighting levels/colours were a nice touch too!). Red's certainly coming through... I just hope she can keep it together!

And last (but not least in the slightest) Halley:

I REALLY liked the way that Drake was trying to keep in control, but every answer/question he uttered made it slip further from him. That was really well done, especially with all the internal thought processes. I liked Az being totally confused once more. I think he needs a decent session on Red's psychiatrists couch!

Glad to see that 16d is starting with a bang...

So, where's all the plotting from those lucky enough NOT to be captured! There's still a station to save people!!


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:00 pm 
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Wow! Great plots, folks!

Would've responded sooner, but I've been super busy.

I'm aching to write something...I'll see if I can cook something up soon!


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:52 pm 
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I've been busy, and so I have, regrettably, been unable to read everything- I still haven't gotten the time finish with what Hales wrote, but Dru and Red both supplied very good posts. I recognized a bit of the planning from a round robin or two in there, but I also recognized some splendid additions, that worked quite well.

When I get around to it, I'm sure I'll have praise to offer you, too, Hales. :)

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"Now Az has killed someone with his head." - Halley
"Y'know... if he wasn't a schizophrenic, murderous horned drunkard, I'd think Az needed a cuddle."- Face


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 3:37 pm 
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Wow, I went two weeks on the road and I came back to an explosion of plotasticness! Really excellent planning and execution on all the plots in D!

Dru-- I really enjoyed the mental aspect of your interrogation scene, especially the creation of a separate world on Tralus and that Everything-Is-Not-Quite-Right feeling that you evoke, especially with your "<discontinuity>"s.

Red-- You write really good dialogue, both internal and external. I particularly like how you've got her internal mind going with what she should say in order to appear Miss Innocent-Engineer versus the fact that she's one of the Wraiths. It's hard enough to try and write as a character, let alone write as a character who is pretending to be another character, and you pull both off very well.

Halley-- Great job with the interrogation, I love how just a few wrong words can turn the tables between the interrogator and interrogated and you nail it perfectly. And I like the sense of forlornness that you develop with the last couple of lines of your plot.

I'm on hiatus for the time being from work, so if anyone wants to plot, let me know, I can even stay up really late in case, oh, I don't know, there are people in England who want to plot... :)


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 5:21 am 
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WOW!

Must. Read. More!

Congrats Ran, you've just made me late for work... but it was totally worth it!

Awesome plot! Would write more... but REALLY gotta run!


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 8:09 am 
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Awesome plot, Ran! The emotion is strong...you can totally feel that raw feeling of betrayal that's going through Elassar's mind.

Very well written! Yes, very well written indeed!


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 8:25 am 
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Ran, as always you bring the best type of Drama - I always love the look into Elassar's mind and the perspective you provide through him.

And eep! But, definitely want to see more!

Great writing as always.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 12:55 pm 
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Awesome stuff, Ran! I think you really hit the mark in the point you wanted to get across. The sense of betrayal is rife. Can't wait to see where you take this. Caught the towel reference.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 3:18 am 
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As everyone keeps saying, Ran, great plot! I'm glad Elassar isn't dead too. I'm interested to see how his anger toward Face plays out in this plot and subsequent plots :D

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 11:00 am 
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Nice, Face! That was as good a quick sum-up as anyone could ask for, and I think you did a good job of distilling the thoughts and feelings of the crew at large into a series of one-liners. I think I got everyone right on the first try, except at first I mistook Red's for Theran's, until I saw Theran's which was definitely his.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 3:45 pm 
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Weee! Good stuff there! And I shall certainly forgive you for stealing my plotting thunder!

Loved Dru breaking consciousness in the dream, and really like the way both Theran and Red were thinking. Also, it was quite childish, but I found it funny that Red totally owned Dru! ;) If he needs lessons at any point...

Nice stuff guys! Finish the rest of the escape soon! The rest need our help!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 4:45 pm 
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Very nice, Red. I especially liked the end, from Dru's POV with each paragraph starting with a new emotion. Hope, Anger, Remorse, etc. This was a period of just a few seconds but shows how dynamic such a short situation can be. It really helped build suspense.

Hooray for breaking the lull in plotting!

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 7:49 pm 
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Excellent work!

Face, loved yours, with the "snapshots" of everyone's thoughts!

Red & Co., very well written, and at last, someone is escaped!

I seriously need to get something going.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 1:20 pm 
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Unique plottage, Faceman. Good to see a writer try something new, and you really pulled it off. You got everyone spot on. Our ability to easily connect most of the thoughts to the correct characters is a testament to how well established each of our characters are.

I shall get to the group plottage when I get home.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 7:43 pm 
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Face - I was totally looking for Red, and I did almost get everyone but I know I got two mixed up (Can't recall whom, now)

But I like the quick, easy to read style - it served as a great way to jump start the plotting and showed you'd eally been paying attention!

Gold star for participation! :P

And I must say thanks to Dru and Theran - they made writing our section soooo fun!

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 9:44 pm 
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Face, I wrote the bit about Red throwing Dru full in the knowledge that you'd get at least a grin out of it. ;) Glad you all enjoyed it; it was a lot of fun to write this much with Red and Theran! Looking forward to finding time for a bit more. ;)

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 11:45 pm 
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Excellent plot, guys. I need to get in on a group plot. You're really giving Plot 16 a lot of emotional depth (and pain...lots of pain).


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:51 am 
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Finally caught up. Good writing all around.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 1:08 am 
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General Corran Horn wrote:
I need to get in on a group plot.


Ditto that! I'm dying for a good group plot!


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 5:06 am 
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For any who want to group plot but have time differences, GoogleDocs is the way to go!

:P

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 2:55 pm 
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Topic split and placed in What would happen if Tyr died from the infection...


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 26, 2009 8:49 am 
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YAY! The Plot famine has been broken!

Great job, Face! Love how he fooled that sleazy doctor, heh.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 26, 2009 11:11 am 
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After a two-month break, excellent! Great truth serum bit, and nice, concise story length.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 26, 2009 6:12 pm 
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Yay plot yay plot yay plot.

With that Petothal 12 serum, it's going to be interesting to see his next few conversations Face has with other people.

Stormtrooper: TK-421, aim a little to the left, I think he's hiding behind the box.

Face: Actually I'm behind the door jam to the right...oh...darnit...

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 27, 2009 12:37 am 
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LOL, Halley!

Face: I outrank you, Tyr...actually...I don't.

;-) ;-)


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 27, 2009 10:40 am 
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Colonel Tyria Sarkin wrote:
Face: I outrank you, Tyr...actually...I don't.


Tyr, it makes him tell the truth... not go crazy.

Good plot there! Nice stuff with the "doctor" thing. Sometimes people don't realise that sometimes, things CAN'T be done, and Corran's slowness to grasp that fact came across really well!

However, can you not heal Void? I'm thinking of taking him on a rampage, and an injured Void is so much more fun!


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 27, 2009 2:09 pm 
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The Face wrote:
Colonel Tyria Sarkin wrote:
Face: I outrank you, Tyr...actually...I don't.

However, can you not heal Void? I'm thinking of taking him on a rampage, and an injured Void is so much more fun!


Consider it done! Er...not done, hehe. We can come up with some reason for why Void couldn't be healed also...perhaps they simply run out of time and need to get moving.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 27, 2009 2:25 pm 
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Actually, I was thinking he just got up and left whilst Tyr, Corran and Deven were occupied.

"And now for Void... Urm.... guys? Is he THAT invisible?"


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 27, 2009 2:47 pm 
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LOL! Well then, that is how it shall be!


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 12:38 am 
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Another short and sweet Plot. Excellent. And, yes, would be almost infinitely impossible for one doctor in wrong field of work to come up with a cure to an unknown disease without a proper facility and in the space of a few hours.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 12:48 am 
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Thanks, GH!

Also, I don't really know how to start and share a Google Doc, so if you want to try to write something together as far as after the healing, etc., if you could open a doc and invite me to it, that would be great. I just don't know how to work all that stuff. LOL


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 2:20 am 
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Whoops. Just wrote it. Sat down for a solid hour to write and didn't see your post. Plottage spurs more plottage And late nights spur weirdness.

I invited you to the GoogleDoc when I made it. See if you got an invite in your e-mail. You can also sign into your Google account and go to docs.google.com. You should see one called "Plot in 16."


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 2:48 am 
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Tyria: Nice short and sweet plot there. No more of that boring medical jargon. More action! It was nice to see a little (for lack of a better term) logic and common sense there. No way Tyria could come up with a cure by herself in an hour whilst having to dodge blaster bolts and stormies. :P

GH: Short but surprisingly detailed. Corran's apprehensiveness to participate is explained very well, as is the detail of him going into a meditative state. A lot of fun to read. I'm assuming he just fainted and didn't drop dead at the end though :wink:

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 8:07 am 
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No worries about writing it, GH. I know how that goes!

I just checked the Google Docs, and it's not there; did you share it with kellchecker@gmail.com?

Now, on to your story...

The Ewok part cracked me up - I was literally LOLing over here!

And your descriptions of everything were great; loved that!

And the ending! I, like Halley, am assuming GH just fainted and didn't drop dead on the spot. Hopefully we're correct in our assumptions...if he died, that would just be too sad! And Tyria would probably never get over the guilt! ;-)

All in all, really great writing there. :D


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 11:13 am 
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Sent a second invite. Let's see if this one works.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 9:21 pm 
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Got it. I wrote a little segment; you're up now, hehe.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 29, 2009 1:47 am 
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Delayed feedback for Corran!

Really liked this plot. The meditation was really well decribed. I love the individual senses going. The cinematic battle for Tyria's health read really well. I loved the visual imagery of it all. Kudos!


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 12:38 am 
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GH, that part about the diagnostic scanner...OMG. I nearly died when I read that - I have such a terrible gag reflex, it's not even funny. I'd have never been able to have that done! LOL When they were taking molds of my teeth for my braces, and later for my retainers, I had to literally concentrate the entire time that those wretched things were in my mouth..."Do not gag. Do not gag. It's going to be okay. Do not gag."

Here's to the hope that a diagnostic scanner never has to be shoved down my throat!

I loved how you brought it in, though. Just in the middle of conversation, basically, "Shove this down my throat, please." LOL

So yeah, kudos for that segment. And all your other writing too, of course. :-) It's been a while but, hey, we've still got it! :)


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:46 am 
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Nice job, GH and Tyria.

GH, the out of body experience stuff was quite beautifully written. I'm curious to find out what Face actually saw. He isn't Force sensitive after all, so for him to see a Force ghost would be interesting to say the least.

Overall, great story and very unique descriptions. Tyria barfing into a trash can is quite vivid and will stay burned in my mind for a while :P Thanks for that...

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:54 am 
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Hehe, the gag reflex was based off my own rather violent one. Once shoved a nurse across the room when she stuck a swab stick down my throat to test me for bronchitis. Pure reflex. And the fact that my throat already felt like I'd swallowed a Star Destroyer didn't help. Had to grip the arms of the chair the second time to she tried, and I still almost slugged her.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:40 am 
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Good stuff there both of you... Since I don't know who wrote what, I shall just commend the whole story. Although, I too liked the gag reflex, and am curious as to what Face felt. Maybe he IS Force Sensitive! Jedi Face! Woot! Ahem.

I also liked Tyr's 'inspirational' speech at the end. "Life sucks, deal with it. We still need you so *rasp* "


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Okay, caught up on the posts!

Face - I have to admit, while I instantly knew why he asked about the cuffs, it didn't decrease the glee at him bringing them around to show the doctor. Now we just need to catch the rest of them up in terms of escape.

GH and Tyria - WOW, nice! I like the description of the healing trance, and also all the sordid details of recovering/not wanting to come back/tubes down throats. I also appreciated Tyr's medical description and the reasoning for the trance :) Very well done. And huzzah, rescue teams! :)

Kudos all around!

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 11:03 am 
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Face: I, too, enjoyed the good setup. ;) Nothing quite like telling someone how you're going to kill them, and then letting them watch it all happen just like you said. ;)

GH & Tyria: Very nice! I thought the descriptions of the trance were very compelling. I really liked Corran's draw to it, and am looking forward to see if that goes anyplace else in the plot. I also liked Tyria's pep talk at the end, and the vivid descriptions of the medical stuff.

Nice work, everyone!

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 12:03 pm 
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Good story for moving things along, Red and Dru! Nice to see what's going on in the rest of the station. It'll be interesting to see how the Imps shape this and the repercussions to follow if things don't go our way.

Best lines:

Face nodded sagely, a wince as he braced himself by leaning an elbow on her shoulder while his balance attempted to return.

"Red?"

"Yeah, Face?"

"You're also really short."


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 4:08 pm 
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I, like GH, also liked the line about Red being short. Face's thoughts being spoken out loud was great too, especially in the final line.

I'm sad they weren't able to rescue Drake and Elassar. I'm having a heck of a time thinking of how Drake is going to escape. But that's beside the point. Nice continuation of events, Red and Dru, and written quite enjoyably to boot.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 12:23 am 
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Excellent stuff there to you both. Really liked Dru's constant shift of attention as a wonderful side effect of his torture. Also, like everyone else, I loved the "short" comment! I'm guessing that the 'lilting' thought effect is basically JD from Scrubs? If so, then it was perfectly described!

Excellent stuff there folks! We'll finish this plot in no time at this rate!


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 6:37 am 
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Not JD in the sense that Face is saying EVERYTHING out loud. So, prior to his run in with Red, all of the italics are actually spoken (well, unless they're an action!)

Note that after Red vocalizes to Face he is monologuing, his comments are shifted to Quotations :P Silly detail, heh.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 7:56 am 
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Excellent work, Red and Dru! Loved it!


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 10:28 am 
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Like Red said, we weren't really going for Face as JD, but I did have JD's "thought voice" in mind when I wrote that description, so I think you get a gold star. ;)

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 6:06 pm 
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Dru! Face! Red! A plot! Woohoo!

Quote:
He's odd, Drake, he doesn't act like the person he claims to be. I'll have to look into that later..."


Loved that line :D

Overall a great plot. I was having a heck of a time figuring out how Drake was going to escape. It just didn't feel real enough for all of our characters to escape at about the same time, so I'm glad everyone else was able to bust Drake out.

The story itself was full of humour and a surprising amount of suspense. I especially like the section kind of told from the trooper's POV.

Just got done with a long day, so this was a nice treat to come home to.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 6:44 pm 
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Great work, guys! So glad the plot drought is broken again! LOL


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:20 pm 
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Great humor plot! Very amusing, especially with Face unable to keep his thoughts to himself. Excellent writing, especially the description of what happened to 1536.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 2:13 pm 
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The tension thickens!


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 10:23 pm 
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General Corran Horn wrote:
The tension thickens!


Indeed!


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:56 am 
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Nice one, Red and co.

Red, if you'd like to write something together this week I'd be more than happy to :D seeing as how you've given Drake something to do and all.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:23 am 
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I have to go wake up in a little under 6 hours so I don't have time to say everything I liked about everybody's plots because there's too much that I like. Suffice to say, all of you, awesome writing. Seriously.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:06 am 
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Holy Yoda, Ran, that was indeed a dark plot. Excellently written though. Absolutely riveting. I really hoped there he'd get away when he grabbed the scalpel.

Has someone been watch a lot of the Saw movies lately?

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:16 am 
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Holy Yoda, too, Ran. Reminds me so much of the old days. <sniff> Ah, the nostalgia. But far better written, I'm sure. And the wrenching dashed hopes of escape. Very palpable. Had me going there, too, even though I knew what you had in mind. Great to see these ideas come to fruition. Works right into your specialty.

<posts plot>


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:56 am 
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I'm sure Corran won't mind if I share this little moment of joy!

Logging onto the board, I saw that 16d had been updated. Yey! I think. A Corran Plot!. Now imagine my delight doubling when I realise it's not just a Corran Plot, but holy frak, a RAN Plot too!

And WHAT a plot! Dude, that was dark with a capital D! You cruelly dashed our hopes with the possibility of escape! At least we can assume that Elassar won't be collaborating with the enemy any more! I wonder who'll have the delight of writing the discovery of Elassar's leg! Hey, if we're lucky, we can keep it, freeze it, and reattach it someday! :) I'm sure we can have the Sacul have a mini-stasis unit or something! Damn pal, but you know how to get our imaginations running!

Corran... have you been playing too much Batman: Arkham Asylum? Your plot really gave such a vivid impression of sneaking around computer game style! I also liked the way that you didn't take on 6 stormies. I can remember a time where we'd have killed them all without a second thought (for those thinking I'm being hypocritical, I have NO idea if Face is going to fair well against the five he's just attacked!), but you're being far more realistic. I also enjoyed the fact that Corran wasn't hitting bullseye all the time he was shooting. Finally, the claustrophobia that Corran was suffering from... very vivid descriptions there as well!

THIS is what Plot 16 was MEANT to be! ;)

Incidentally, I think enough time has passed to be Plot 16e next! :)


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:28 am 
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Ran: Wow. Just, Wow. At least its CONCLUSIVE what happened there, no if's, and's or but's.

Corran: I really liked the 1st person perspective - the pacing and rate it established really speaks to how Corran probably feels and is thinking at the time.

Oh, and I would totally love to write, Halley - GoogleDocs good for you, or would you prefer an IM based session?
:)

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:20 pm 
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Tis' great to share the stage with the Plot Grandmaster himself! Ran has always been my greatest inspiration in plot writing.
The Face wrote:
Corran... have you been playing too much Batman: Arkham Asylum?

Hehe, no. Haven't touched it. But I've played many a game of yesteryear with sneaky maps. For some reason Medal of Honor and Call of Duty come to mind.
The Face wrote:
The claustrophobia that Corran was suffering from... very vivid descriptions there as well!

Thanks. I took those impressions from the first time I ever felt a touch of claustrophobia while crawling through a mousehole in a cave. It was easy for me to imagine what it'd feel like to be claustrophobic and buried underground.The worst part is the dust that kicks up and makes you feel like you're running out of oxygen.
Octavia Terah wrote:
I really liked the 1st person perspective - the pacing and rate it established really speaks to how Corran probably feels and is thinking at the time.

Thanks. When I'm writing solo, I like to write with a certain rhythmatic cadence. And the way Corran visualizes all the different scenarios is something I do often, especially when mountain biking.

Thanks for the generous replies :-D


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:49 pm 
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That was an exciting one, GH. Reminded me very much of the Wraith Squadron novels with all his sneaking around. Gotta love the gungan joke at the beginning too.

Red: whichever works best for you. Googledoc might work a bit better just in case we can't arrange a specific time or a long enough period at the same time to write. Also, editing is MUCH easier with googledocs :wink:

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 8:27 pm 
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So, I've read these two plots three times each to try and come up with adequate feedback, and I'm still having trouble. ;)

Ran, I think your plot was the type that once you've finished reading, it, you feel as though you've just finished watching it play out, and you're so stunned by what's happened that you just sort of sit back in shock.

GH, if you were going for a "sneaky FPS" feel, I think you got it quite nicely. The necessity for stealth and quick, decisive action was very present, and as has been mentioned, the descriptions of Corran's claustrophobic feelings really helped me relate.

In general, two, I think these two plots share the limelight togehter not just as two great plots, but as two different plots telling the same story in very different ways. On one side of the coin you have the dark, shrieking loss, and on the other side you have the subtle but cunning victory, but both tell of the same desperation.

Great work, both!

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 9:21 pm 
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Halley - I'll be around tomorrow, but gone most of the weekend to a wedding in St. Louis. Lets get a GoogleDoc going :)

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:12 pm 
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Wow. I can't add anything to what's already been said about y'all's plots, GH and Ran, so I won't. Let me just say that I agree wholeheartedly with all of the praise that's been heaped upon you both. :-D


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:15 am 
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I really liked the feeling of running out of time and options that your plot gives Corran, and the airlock bit at the end has my curiosity definitely piqued :). And the part of where you entered the shaft and began to climb up it really reminded me visually of when Neo and the rest of the characters in the first Matrix begin climbing down between the interior and exterior walls of an apartment complex, bracing themselves between the two while trying to not make a sound, lest they're detected.

On a completely different note:

Out of curiosity, what do people listen to when they're writing? Any specific songs or playlists? I'm always curious since whatever mood I'm in will really affect my writing, and music really does help tend to set my mood.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:25 am 
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Thanks, Ran. Sometimes I listen to good movie soundtracks, like Star Wars, Gladiator, Black Hawk Down, and LoTR. But more recently, I've been listening to progressive house artists Myn has introduced me too, like Sasha, Ulrich Schnauss (one of my favorite artists), and Kata Project. Sounds like futuristic space travel to me. If you want something more ambient with less of a beat, Enigma and Mars Lasar are good. I find they create the right mood without being too distracting. Few lyrics.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 9:16 am 
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I'm generally at work, so I usually listen to nothing, but sometimes it might be classical radio, and others it might be prog metal, say Dream Theater. For something in the middle, I've got most of No Doubt's music, along with who knows what else.

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