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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 5:16 pm 
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You know the drill... show the love! ;)


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:34 pm 
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Ah, excellent SW RPG nerdiness. Makes for a more interesting action sequence, and only one line of dialogue, hehe.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 12:26 am 
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Nice!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:03 am 
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Part 2 of my story posted. It's not the artwork of my first part, but it gets the job done.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 4:49 pm 
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If this were Facebook, I'd click "Like" by that story. *G*


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 1:17 am 
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I dunno C-Man, it's still got a nice pace, and good visual descriptions!

Nicely done!


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:24 am 
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That was a great plot Halley and Red-- it moved fast and I got a real sense for Red's emotions. I couldn't have written the note or the discovery of the room better myself! And I really enjoyed the dialogue, especially Drake's line on how it doesn't work out in the holos, it fit so well with the mood of the writing. Well done :)


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:44 am 
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RanKether wrote:
And I really enjoyed the dialogue, especially Drake's line on how it doesn't work out in the holos, it fit so well with the mood of the writing. Well done :)


I really, really liked that line, too.

And wow, guys...great job on that whole story!


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:11 am 
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Wow! Awesome plot there Red and Hales! I too loved the discovery of the note, really well written, and it's gonna make some SERIOUS blood boiling going on. Already my mind is skipping to the reaction of the rest of the Wraiths!

Glad to see that we're getting closer and closer to the finale. I had a though, since COMPNOR will be leaving the station soon, if their jamming is based on their ship, it might weaker, allowing us to communicate. Kinda cheap way of doing things, but it might work!


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 10:58 am 
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I think the better solution to the jamming would be that they were using the station's transmitters for it (that would be the most effective way), and now that we're reasonably free to move about, Dru or another slicer (do we have any other slicers?) can dispatch it. Red might could jimmy a way 'round it, too, and it looks like she might be of a mind to do just that. ;)

GH: Brilliant! I've enjoyed the glance into Corran's psyche with these last few plots, and I felt that the "rhythmic cadence" to your writing made for a very smooth read. My favorite line was actually:

GH wrote:
Never like killing a lady if I can avoid it.


which probably makes me a little odd, but I thought that said a lot about what goes on behind the scenes in our good General.

Red & Halley: Brilliant seems like an inappropriate word to describe something dark, so we'll stick with stunning. ;) The descriptions of Red & Drake's reactions to the bloody mess were very engaging, and really brought me in to the scene, I felt. I thought Red's reading of the letter was particularly moving. I've a feeling that Derec is soon to find himself on the receiving end of a lot of bad moods. ;)

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 3:44 pm 
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A Red/Hales writing duo! Excellent work, you two. I enjoyed how you took the characters beyond their combat shells and dug deeper into their emotions and worries and self-doubts. Considering how much danger and death our people are around, they understandably have a shipload of psychological issues. And the sense of loyalty and camaraderie is vivid, extending beyond the divisions of "Rogue" and "Wraith." I like how Plot 16 has brought our characters together, which makes sense considering we don't have enough active writers to fill one squadron, much less two going off in separate, unrelated directions.

And thanks, Dru! 8)


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 10:44 pm 
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Getting to play Red's constant urge to fight versus Drake's flight was really fun writing. And maaaaaybe there is a plan for communications? We'll just have to see, hopefully soon if the writing streak continues.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 4:20 am 
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Got it out.

Completely unplanned story, but I was inspired after watching Black Hawk Down again (for the 5th time) tonight. Hence the lyrics.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 8:52 am 
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Great story, GH! So action packed...great writing! I've never seen Black Hawk Down, but the lyrics certainly fit in! Nice touch!


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:20 am 
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One can't argue with success. ;)

Nice one, GH! While I've never seen Black Hawk Down (or if I have, it was years ago and I was asleep), I thought the lyrics gave it a sort of haunting lilt, which was enjoyable. Too, I thought you did a good job of getting a lot of action in around it, and it was never hard to imagine what might have been going on.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:47 pm 
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Thanks 8) Black Hawk Down is one of my favorite movies of all time, and, in my opinion, the best realistic (and artsy) war movie ever made. And based on a true story. It is gruesome, though, as it shows the harsh realities of the battlefield. But I like how it really focuses on the skill and camaraderie of Delta Force and the Rangers.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 12:40 pm 
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And now, the exciting conclusion of Red & Drake? :)

Great stuff, as before! I liked the transition from Red's despondent, morbid shock to the excited rush of solving a problem and making a change for the better, and also really enjoyed Drake's confusion at said change. The Piggy/Kai exchange was good for a laugh, and it was nice to end on a positive note. Kudos for the Firefly reference. ;)

And as you said, we're out of excuses... I just need to get less busy!

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 8:26 pm 
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Great work, guys! Loved the Kai/Piggy conversation, hehe.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 2:24 am 
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No offense taken, Red. I got swamped with work after we started working on it. I'm glad you were able to find the time to finish it up. :D

Onward to finale!

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 2:41 am 
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Apologies for not responding sooner!

Corran, I really liked your plot, and yes, I shall agree with the others that the lyrics interspersed were a really nice touch!

Red/Hales good plot too! Felt a bit rushed, but I understand why. We're all keen to get to the grand conclusion! Still, the interaction 'tween Kai and, well everyone she spoke to was very amusing. I also liked Red's bouncingness at solving the problems.

Also, kudos for the Firefly quote! :)


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 4:09 pm 
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Wow, I think Drake's been watching too many mafia movies. Quite the literary whiplash going from that to the humor bits, but it was good. And a good setup for getting us back together for the Epic Firefight.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 6:57 pm 
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I'm actually glad the whiplash/rushed sensation came off - all things considered, I don't see any of the rest of this being calm. Plus, having Drake and Red swapping "sane/calm" roles was neat to work with Halley on, even if it came without any conscious effort on either of our parts

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 13, 2010 4:53 am 
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Since there's nowhere else to put it... LOVED your addition to the GoogleDoc Corran. Awesome stuff there!


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 13, 2010 2:18 pm 
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Gracias, amigo. Your new plottage yesterday inspired me.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 1:14 am 
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And a good chunk of new plottage posted over the last couple days if you haven't seen the GoogleDoc.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 7:19 am 
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Okay - added a bit to the end. Hope no one minds that I threw in the trigger for the final push (and wrote so little!)
:)

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 9:08 am 
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Cool! I'm pretty sure no one will mind, hehe.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 5:13 pm 
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Excellent, Red. We needed someone to pull the trigger. I like the unpredictable nature of this Epic Firefight so far, with not everything going as planned. And in case anyone wants to know the original plan (which is minimal at best), it's the few paragraphs right above the start of the story near the top of the Doc. Or I could just paste it below:

~~~
Dru: Alright; there's been a live-action brainstorming session, and the following is the result!


We've isolated a few key objectives:

1. The Dockmaster's Office, on the concourse below. It's unrealistic to expect that we can slice anything from the door terminals on the docking ring itself... that's like saying you could hack into the inner workings of a bank through an ATM machine! We'll need to get a slicer, Dru, to that office to work some magic.
2. Ropes or something, for climbing up to the docking ring and bypassing any traps set on the service tubes.
3. The Door to Ziggy's Hangar, for obvious reasons.


We've also isolated a few key obstacles:

1. A platoon of (9) stormtroopers; four guarding the Dockmaster's office, five patrolling the concourse
2. A platoon of (9) stormtroopers; actively patrolling the docking ring
3. A platoon of (9) stormtroopers; sweeping the lower decks of the station
4. The whole station is going to burn up in something like seven and a half minutes.


Our story concept, in all of its current detail, looks basically like this:

As a diversion, we sneak onto the concourse and start lighting up shops, turning on their music and advertising, and so on. This will get the patrol worried, and we'll use it to throw them off of Dru, Shadow, and Corran, three of our sneakier types, who will sneak past the patrols to the dockmaster's office. Once inside, they kill all four guards before they can call for help. Dru starts with the slicing, which as he's familiar with this security suite, he figures will take about two minutes to exploit. In the meantime, everyone else goes to work sneaking around, staying out of sight of the platoon on the docking ring, picking off the patrols on the concourse. Before long (say 30 seconds to a minute), the third platoon shows up in a lift. The fighting gets more desperate.

Once Dru's finished, the door to Ziggy's hangar will open for us, but first we'll have to get there! We probably can't risk a lift or any of the service tubes, as the platoon up top may have trapped them. In theory, we'll pilfer some ropes or ascension guns and climb up to the balcony reasonably close to Ziggy's hangar. We then apply excessive force and Force, get to the door, out to the Sacul, and make good our escape.

There you have the plan in its entirety, so no one has an excuse for not writing. ;)


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 12:28 am 
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More plottage posted, by Tyria and I.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:44 am 
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Guys. Apologies for the following post, but it's been bugging me, so I have to say something!

Corran, Tyr, it's about your recent addition to the GoogleDoc. Now, by all means, feel free to call be a bloody pedant at the end of it all, I shall accept it, and move on in good humour. But I had to say something!

Just to set the scene a little... We're on a space station. This is crashing, and the Empire have evacuated the station. The only people remaining on the station, are us, and the fanatical group of elite stormtroopers hunting us.

They know we're there, and know who we are. Face and Dru (amongst others) have previously been captured. Since they know who they're hunting, it's reasonable to assume that they've probably been briefed, almost certainly with images. Since Tyria (thanks to her connection with Wedge) is famous enough to make it into a Top Beautiful Sentients poll in the galaxy, it's also reasonable to assume if someone was looking for Rogue Squadron, they'd know who Tyria is (sorry Tyr... can't have it both ways, can't be famous AND anonymous!)

OK. So the fanatical, elite trooper finds a female who looks exactly like someone who he's searching for. He finds her in an area where there are no civilians. However, with the power of nothing more than an apron which is four sizes too big for her, he is fooled into taking his helmet off for a sip of caf. I'm sorry, I just don't buy it.

If one of my rookie cops at work was fooled into accepting a drink from a strange person, I'd be surprised. If a fanatical, elite troopers who only purpose in life is to kill Rogue and Wraith Squadron is conned into taking off his helmet by someone that he is looking for, for me, that's beyond the realms of credibility.

OK, I've had my say, I've ranted about something which in the grand scheme of things doesn't really matter, and I've gotten it off my chest!

:)



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PostPosted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:12 am 
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Y'know, more I think about it, I think I'm leaning toward agreeing, Face.

So, GH, what say you? How 'bout a re-write?


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 1:32 am 
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What we wrote works great for humor but not for realism. We could use that bit for another story later with a rookie trooper on his first (and last) day on the job. I'll ponder a new idea, and, Tyria, let me know if you come up with something before I do.

And, yes, Face, this is the correct venue to suggest re-writes for the greater good of the Plot.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 11:44 pm 
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So, GH...any thoughts?

Perhaps we could use some of the same premise, but just with much more serious things occurring...we can still make something happen around that area and in that time frame. I'm just not quite sure what.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:44 pm 
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Hmm, I don't think the same premise would work if Tyria would be recognized instantly as a foe since all the civilians are off the station. We just need some way for the fighting to start prematurely. It could or could not involve Tyria.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 8:30 am 
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My understanding is the fighting's already started prematurely, as Face has given the go-ahead for Mousie Chaosbot. So Tyr could get trapped inside someplace by a firefight, then pop out to save the day, or something?

Anyhow, if my original assumption is wrong, I've some revising to do myself. ;)

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 12:41 pm 
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Face has given the go ahead for the Mousebot to be prepped... wasn't sure he's given the command to let it loose...


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 2:31 pm 
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OK, we've fixed the whole "launch the ChaosBot" issue.

Gav, if you want to post what you've written in the googledoc? If there's any gaps, just leave them, and anyone can fill them in! We've got a little momentum, let's keep it going!

In fact, I decree that by the end of Sunday 11th April 2010, if we all get our shebs into gear, we can finish Plot 16!

WHO'S WITH ME!!


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 2:36 pm 
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Next week is looking like a low spot at work... so all things equal it looks like I should be able to work with this. :)

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 2:42 pm 
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Pssst... Glad you're onboard Dru... but see if you can stir up a little more fervour?


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 2:51 pm 
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Er, right. Fervour.

Well, I'm not much for the rousing speech, but I'm good with threats of harm and guilt-tripping. So, I could threaten to eat your goldfish, and remind you that I've got two kids and a full-time job, much like my cohort Piggy here.

So, plot this week, or I'll send my children to eat your goldfish! :P

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 4:32 pm 
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Hehe, gotta work this weekend, but I'll see what I can do. The plottage must go on.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 4:39 pm 
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Too late! Posting!

And thus concludes 16.

17 to begin shortly.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 5:40 pm 
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Thank you.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 8:38 pm 
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Hmmm.

The ending doesn't quite make sense to me. I don't see how the issue with this one space station - an issue which they don't even fully understand - would make them somehow "know" that it was the end of an era and that their "status in the world might never recover."

I mean, this doesn't really touch on their status in the world, from what little they know; there is nothing that occurred that would lead them to think that, before having more information than what they have. I mean, this story ending was rather anti-climactic, and certainly doesn't point to them having this "feeling" that everything has so drastically changed.

I'm sorry...but in the interest of honesty, which I know we all value, I have to say that this ending feels unfinished, as if it was just tossed in to "hurry up and get to the ending." Seriously...we are better writers than that. It just falls flat. :-/


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 10:46 pm 
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The goal, if I might elaborate, was to specifically have the unfinished feeling.

This was a plot that needed to go out in a whimper, frankly - and the objective by leaving this sense of confusion was to allow ALL of our writers to come in and be able to then write the flash backs/ future processing of what happened at this point. So it CAN be pivotal, and include as many viewpoints/authors as possible.

I think that earlier in the plot, the fact that there was an underlying conspiracy, which when you leave defeated (as this ending showed) you can only have a sense that something is very, very wrong. So, future writing gets to hash that out.

Hopefully this clarifies - yes, part of this was to end it. But honestly, the other part was to give the desperation for 17 that we needed - this one isn't heroic, and I didn't want my writing to have even a hint of it.

Down in the dirt, confused, lost, and flat.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 10:57 pm 
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Ah. I didn't know that was the goal. I was kinda thrown by the ending, because there were people today talking about getting some writing going on to finish it up, and then BAM, it was posted - the end. So that was unexpected, since we've never really ended a Plot in that fashion. It was like...ending a Plot without really ending it.

Also, from the talks I've had with people about Plot 17, my impression was that it wasn't really directly related to what occurred in Plot 16, so that is also probably why I'm confused - I didn't realize there would be a lot of fleshing out of what actually occurred in the end of 16, in 17. But here's a question. If it's going to take place as flashbacks in 17, what good is 17? I mean, if we couldn't write it up in 16, or didn't want to, why would that change in 17, by making it a flashback? I guess I'm still confused. I mean, writing what we never got around to writing, in flashback form, doesn't really give it desperation to be written.


Last edited by Colonel Tyria Sarkin on Fri Apr 02, 2010 11:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 11:01 pm 
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The flashbacks are optional, frankly - and its not going to be the ONLY thing I suspect is in 17.

Honestly, 16 had dragged out beyond its natural life, and getting on to 17 and allowing aspects that people want to explore to be explored, or left dead, seemed like the best course of action. I had the impression that 17 is some time in the future, and under the new "We're back to being rebels."

So, 17 is more than JUST finishing 16, but it has the option for filling in as people see fit or feel compelled.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 11:03 pm 
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It will probably be left dead then, I would imagine; I mean, since no one could get 16 written in 16, I don't really see people getting it written in 17.

How far in the future were you thinking? Because from talks I had with others, I was under the impression it wasn't all that far at all.

And I agree - 16 needed to end. Badly. And I'm not decrying the fact that we didn't go out as heroes. I just am not nuts about the ending because it seems rushed, last minute, and like...honestly...a "cop out." And I'm not trying to point fingers at anyone, because I have no idea who wrote it.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 11:05 pm 
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If it makes you feel any better, I spent a week writing it.

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